Winter's playing a joke on me

I know I have a mind, and I have the ability to know the comings and goings of the seasons, but these warm January days are daring me to think spring, to want to take flight again and start my seasons over from where they started in May. Except, part of me knows I'm being beckoned and teased at the same time, and that if I peep my head out, I might just get frost bite. The irony is, the western new year begins in the dead of winter. What is there to renew this time of year?

Or maybe that's the point. In the darkness, it's so easy to retreat into our holes and wait for all this to breeze over. But really, the winter is a time to regenerate and form new habits with ourselves and others. Like when our synapses are actually doing the work for us when we sleep at night preparing the body for a new self in the morning. So with that said, as much as I enjoy a nice warm winter day, it does feel a little like a chip in my teacup.

It's been too long since I've written here. I've been distracted, and still am in a way. But I'm learning to focus the more I live here. Which is crazy because this city is certainly not the most well-tempered places on earth. But I've never felt as capable as I do right now, which still isn't saying much, but I've gained a stronger hide thanks to things like heartbreak, uncertainty and New York City blues.
But this does not bring me down. I have acquired a new sheen to go along with my hide. It sparkles in the most unexpected moments and gives me confidence when I'm longing for a solution. I find I'm falling in love with people all over the place. And they excite me and I want to send my glittery sheen out to them. Even in the office or on the street, I see people walking by, each of them with a different hue of color. Some are gray, some are rainbow, some just pale blue like fog. It's fascinating, and it's beautiful. Perhaps the Salman Rushdie I've been reading is rubbing off onto my hands and into my fingers tonight.

I heard tomorrow is supposed to have rains all day. (don't be fooled, it's only january. the rain will trickle down to a defenseless surface)